Fathers: What Does It Mean to Be a Real Man?

I am writing this blog the day before Father’s Day and I have naturally been thinking about fathers. I believe one of the major reasons we live in such a great country is because of some great fathers we have had. Fathers tend to set the tone for our families and our culture. This is not to diminish anything from our mothers. There is a reason there are far more cards sold on Mother’s Day than on Father’s Day!

But if we fathers are to take credit for the successes in our culture, we must also take responsibility for our problems. I believe many of our societal problems can be laid at the feet of absent fathers.

Fathering children is a full-time job that some days can simply just wear you out. One of the predominant memories I have of raising our kids (especially when they were young) is fatigue. I was constantly physically and emotionally fatigued! I understand why many men have trouble fathering. I am not excusing them, but I get it. It is hard. But I also know the rewards of sacrificially loving and providing for your family greatly outweigh any cost!

One of the most influential books I have read on fathering is by Robert Lewis, Raising a Modern-Day Knight. If you are a father of young children, I strongly encourage you to read this book. It is filled with practical wisdom for raising your children, especially your young boys. (He is also the author of a program, “The Quest for Authentic Manhood,” another strong recommendation!)

Raising your family is your primary calling in this stage of your life. If you fail at this, you will have many regrets and major disappointments. Live with no regrets.

Unfortunately, I see many men who are putting their career and even hobbies (hunting, fishing, golf, etc.) ahead of their families. They are rejecting one of the major callings in their lives or putting it down the list of their priorities. Trust me, you will have time for a career and all of your favorite hobbies when your kids are grown. Your time with them is ever so short.

Real men do not reject responsibility. Real men will take the responsibility of providing love and protection for their families. Real men will lead their families courageously. Real men will reject being passive. Real men look to God for direction and reward. Men, let’s get real!

I strongly want to encourage young fathers in our culture to stay strong. You are shaping our futures with the work and love you put into fathering and caring for your family. You will never regret sacrificing any career or financial goals for your family. Your family should be first on your list.

Stop and think about your father. What kind of relationship did you have with your dad? Most people of faith will view their heavenly Father in the same way they view their earthly Father. If you had a cold and distant dad, there will be a strong tendency for you to view our heavenly Father the same way. The opposite is also true.

I was very fortunate to have a dad who worked lots of hours but somehow managed to be there for the important times in my life. He was faithful. I could count on him. I knew he would be there for me.

Today, from a spiritual perspective, I find having faith in my heavenly Father to come easy. I have no doubts about God being there for me and even for my family. I am convinced that faith comes relatively easy for me because my dad was faithful to me and our family.

So, dads, how are you doing with this most important job in the world? Be strong and courageous! Live with no regrets, lead courageously, reject passivity, accept responsibility, and look to God for direction.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

Attitude of Gratitude

 Last week, I had tried to get you to try a simple experiment. It was to simply stand in front of a mirror and get you to smile for three minutes a day. I know it sounds silly and I am not promising to cure you of all ailments, but if you did the challenge, I bet you felt a little better.

Motion leads to emotion. If you act a certain way, you will eventually feel that way. Something as simple as smiling can change your current mental state. I dare you to try it!

Another key to feeling less stressed (code word for fear) is to change your focus. Focus will lead to feelings. We become a summation of our thoughts. If you have a bunch of depressed or stressed thoughts, you will feel depressed or stressed. Every thought has some emotion tagged to it. If you change your focus, which is simply controlling your thoughts, you can change your emotional state.

Do a quick inventory of your emotional state for the week. Write down every emotion you had this week. Try not to edit it—just write them down as they come to mind. Hopefully, you have had a good week, but go ahead and do this little exercise. Try to determine what your primary emotion for the week has been. Honestly, I think mine has been frustration.

Now, the primary reason we feel frustrated or stressed is because our current situation doesn’t match up with our expectations or our blueprint for life. If we are feeling good, chances are our current situation matches up with our blueprint for life.

If things are not matching up with our blueprint for life, we can either change our blueprint (our expectations) or change our situation. Often, our situation can change simply by changing our focus. If we remained focused on the negative outcome or negative possibilities, chances are that our emotions well be negative. If, however, we focus on the positive things or possibilities (the glass is half full), we will tend to have positive emotions.

We all have a tendency to take a negative thought and go to the darkest corners in our minds with them. This is why solitary confinement is the worst punishment for prisoners. They are left alone with their thoughts.

You have to learn to control your thoughts. Most of the things people tend to worry over are outside of their control. They really have no influence over the outcomes. Take captive every thought you have and dwell on the good, the pure, the noble.

If you are having repetitive thoughts in your life that you really cannot control the outcome of, discipline your mind not to think about it. I have no control over the changes coming in healthcare. I can worry about it all, but it will not change the outcome. Now, I need to be aware of changes, but it will not help me to worry about Obamacare or Trumpcare. I have no control. So, when I am tempted to worry about it, I try to take control of my thoughts and focus on something else.

Focus will lead to feelings. Control what you focus on! If you want to take a deeper dive into this subject and other ideas for healthy living, take a look at my e-book, The Caleb Journey.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

Stress Tip: Smile for a While

 How was your week? Was it a productive week or was it one filled with frustration and stress? If I had to guess, more people experienced frustration than enjoyment. I hope that is not true for you, but I know in our culture there is a tremendous amount of stress.

I believe stress is really a code word for fear. When I say that I am stressed, it usually means I am fearful something isn’t going according to my blueprint for life. Stress (fear) can lead to all sorts of physical ailments. I have seen people worry themselves into an ulcer and even heart attacks.

So, if you had a stressful week or even a stressful month (maybe even a lifetime of stress), I have some simple solutions to improve your attitude. These solutions are so simple they seem almost silly. The only side effect is happiness or less stress. This is not better living through chemistry! No medication is involved.

A few years ago, there was a study that took clinically depressed patients through a treatment for 30 days and at the end, they had a 100 percent cure rate. They had clinically depressed patients stand in front of a mirror and smile for twenty minutes a day for 30 days in a row. Now it had to be a big smile, but that was all they did. (Sounds crazy or too good to be true!)

The key takeaway is “motion can lead to emotion.” Think about it for a few seconds. If I asked you to describe someone who looked depressed, what would they look like? Chances are they are slouched over slightly, face downcast, and not slow moving. We have all experienced this state of emotion. Now, consider someone who is excited or happy. What do they look like?

Try a little experiment. Make yourself looked depressed for a minute or two and see how it makes you feel. Now, try making yourself look happy or excited. How did you feel? Could you notice any difference even slightly? So, something as simple as paying attention to your body can change your mental state.

I have a challenge for you this week. Simply stand in front of a mirror and smile—a big smile—for about three minutes a day. If you have a big meeting, maybe before you go into it, smile for a while. I know it sounds crazy, but what do you have to lose? Let me know how you do!

If you want to take a deeper dive into this subject and other ideas for healthy living, take a look at my e-book, The Caleb Journey. Here’s what people are saying:

“This was a productive, useable, comfortable plan for me to follow. This plan is obviously based on successful personal and professional experience and knowledge in the medical, nutritional and sports fields, as well as in the spiritual well-being realm.” —Harry Brewer

“This 3-week challenge focuses on your spiritual walk, teaches you about your own body, and offers recipes and actionable tips to help you not only lose weight, but also find true happiness again.” —Shayla Eaton

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

23 Reasons to Get a Heart Scan

1.     Heart disease is the leading killer in the USA for both men and women.

2.     About 610,000 people a year die from heart disease.

3.     One in four deaths is related to heart disease.

4.     735,000 Americans have heart attacks annually.

5.     Heart disease kills about the same number of people annually as does cancer, lower respiratory disease, and accidents combined.

6.     47% of sudden death from heart attacks occurs outside the hospital. This suggests that people do not understand the risk and/or symptoms of heart attacks.

7.     Men are at higher risk than women.

8.     African-American men are 35% more likely to have heart disease.

9.     High blood pressure, high cholesterol, and smoking are key risk factors for heart disease.

10.  About 47% of Americans have at least one of these risk factors.

11.  Family history of heart disease increases your chances of having a heart attack.

12.  Diabetes, poor diet, physical inactivity, obesity, and excessive alcohol use greatly increase your risk of heart disease.

13.  Oklahoma has one of the highest incidences of heart disease in all of the USA.

14.  About 800,000 people a year have a stroke.

15.  Heart disease and stroke cost about $313 billion a year in healthcare costs and lost productivity.

16.  The American Heart Association predicts the annual cost of heart disease will exceed 1 trillion dollars by 2035.

17.  According to the American Heart Association, your risk of cardiovascular disease is 50% at age 45.

18.  It is 80% at age 65.

19.  The emotional pain and suffering inflicted on people is unmeasurable.

20.  No one wants to die too early.

21.  Heart disease can be treated and prevented.

22.  Screening for heart disease is easy.

23.  Not knowing if you are at risk is not very smart!

Heart disease does not have to keep kicking our proverbial butts! Screening is very simple. A heart scan is an inexpensive way to screen for cardiovascular disease. It is not perfect, but you do get valuable information to help evaluate your personal risk for coronary heart disease.

A CT heart scan measures the amount of calcium that builds up in the arteries that feed your heart. It can be correlated to a degree of blockage in those arteries. It is not super accurate in the sense that you will not get a number such as 76% blockage. It will get you in the ballpark. It will generally correlate to no blockage, mild, moderate, or severe blockage. If you are in the moderate or severe category, generally you should have more testing.

Most places will do a heart scan for around $50. Insurance does not cover heart scans. Since you are paying cash for it, you do not need a doctor’s order. Simply call your favorite place and schedule.

Remember, this is only a screen. If you are having any symptoms at all, check with your doctor. You can still have problems in spite of having a normal heart scan. It is not perfect, but you do get good information and it is relatively inexpensive. (It is also pain-free!)

If you have a family history of heart disease or if you have other risk factors such as smoking or hypertension, start screening around age 40 to 45. If you score a zero (perfect), probably good to get one every five years. If you do not score a zero, I would check more often.

Oh. I just had mine and I scored a 23. My previous one was a zero. I have a strong family history of coronary artery disease. I am going to repeat in one year and I am going to double-check my lipid panel and watch my blood pressure closely.

Time to go exercise!

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

What Is Your Purpose in Life?

WThe most popular book in the world is The Holy Bible. It has had more copies produced than any other book. The second most published book is not even close to the Bible. The second one, however, is fairly recent. It is The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren.

Knowing one’s purpose is essential to living a fully productive life. If you do not understand why you exist, then you will have difficulty making good decisions about your future and even your present. You will be taken with the current of popular opinion and may end up in a place you do not want to be in.

Earlier in the year, we talked about what you want written on your tombstone. How do you want to be remembered? This really gets you thinking about your character and your influence. I think this is a good starting point (the end of your life) on understanding your purpose.

Everyone and everything has a purpose. Even if you do not believe in a Creator, honest people will come to the conclusion that everything has a purpose. If you really believe we evolved from some primordial mist, then the only thing that makes sense is that we evolve to a specific end or purpose. We cannot evolve, and it not serve a purpose or benefit. Everyone and everything is designed for some purpose or use. We may not understand it with our limited sight or knowledge today, but there are no accidents.

I believe we are uniquely created by a loving God and that we all have purpose or reason for existence. I believe God has created each of us to fulfill roles only we can. The roles may be similar to others, but they will be unique to each of us.

Our purpose for life may be experienced differently as we go through different stages of life or life events; but at the core, our purpose or reason for breathing stays the same throughout our life spans.

We are never too old (or too young, for that matter) not to have a purpose. Many of my geriatric patients struggle with why they are still alive. They often feel like they have completed their purpose for living. There are many reasons for this, but at its core is the belief that they are no longer contributing.

Our sense of worth often comes from our sense of how we contribute to society, especially our families. If we feel we are not contributing, then often we will feel worthless. Eventually, we feel worthless.

I was at both of my grandfathers’ deaths. I watched as they took their last breaths and watched the monitors flatline. To this day, I am still learning from them. I will compare myself to them when I am close to the end. They showed me how men end well. They never quit leading me. You are never too old or too sick not to have a purpose. You will always have a purpose as long as you have air in your lungs.

You must know what your unique purpose in life is! I want to challenge you to think about your purpose, your reason for breathing. And I want you to write it down. It does not need to be elegant or even elaborate. I think the simpler it is, the easier it is to understand and to follow.

I recently reviewed my purpose and wrote down thoughts as they came to my mind.

“I exist to glorify God in all I say and do. I do this mainly through helping others to improve their health and lives. I experience God most when I am serving His children and enjoying the outdoors. Learning is another common way I enjoy God. Therefore, I will be a lifelong learner who loves God and helps others on their journey.”

This statement is basically a filter for me when it comes to decisions about how I am to spend “my” (it is all His anyway) money and time. It is a fairly broad statement and leaves me lots of leeway, but it is still one of my first filters. The things I do and spend my time on need to fit with this in some way or fashion.

We all have a purpose and a unique design. What is yours? Don’t be shy: tell me in the comments.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

Supplements: To B or Not to B

Today, I am blogging about B vitamins. I recently said fish oil was my favorite supplement. Well, a close second is my B-complex vitamin.

Many people believe B-12 helps with energy. I have patients come in to my clinic asking for a B-12 shot frequently. It gives them a little boost. I do not think it lasts very long and again there is probably a placebo effect. We have had a retired NFL player report he and many of his teammates would take a B-12 shot right before the game. He said they would look for any kind of edge they could find and believed B-12 gave them a boost.

Most people can supplement with oral B-12 and be just fine. There are a few people who are missing an intrinsic factor in their stomachs and will benefit from the shots.

I think the B-complex supplement I take helps me some with energy but also with mood. I know it may sound a little crazy, but I think I am generally a little happier when I am taking it.

B-12 has shown to improve homocysteine levels in our blood. Low homocysteine levels have been associated with cardiovascular risks. I do not routinely check homocysteine levels, but many holistic doctors do.

Supplementing with B-12 has some other reported benefits. One of the more interesting ones is how it helps to maintain healthy DNA. There is a common process in our bodies called methylation. It is responsible for many different functions. One of them involves keeping our DNA healthy. If you are low on B-12, it can affect your ability to properly methylate.

I get all of my supplements from Thorne Research. They are one of the top supplement manufactures in the world. They have recently partnered with the Mayo Clinic. They only provide their supplements through medical providers. If you want to use their products, use my code, HCP1050950. I am an affiliate, and this means I get a commission if you buy from them. Some patients just use them for education only. They have a fairly extensive library of articles on different supplements and uses.

I hope you have found this information helpful.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

Dr. Curtis Brown's Favorite Supplement

I have recently been blogging about supplements. If you have read my blogs, you know I have put a disclaimer out. These are my opinions only. I am sure others will have different opinions than mine.

I do not think there is a single supplement that is right for everyone. So, be sure to communicate with your healthcare provider before starting any supplements.

My general advice on all supplements is to give them a try and see how your body responds. If you feel better, I count it successful. Is it real or is it placebo? Better is better, and I leave it at that. If it doesn’t help, probably okay to stop it.

My favorite (or at least the one I take the most) is fish oil. Fish oil has many reported benefits and there are several small studies that back them up. To be honest, there are also studies that do not support the daily use for fish oil.

I take fish oil to improve my lipid panel and to help with arthritis or joint inflammation. My joints simply feel better when I am taking my fish oil routinely. I am like everyone else and will forget to pick some up and stop taking it for a little while. Before long, I will start to stiffen up, and then I will remember to get back on my fish oil.

It usually takes about 2–3 weeks for my joints to respond. I think it helps me. I understand it may just simply be the placebo effect, but I feel better.

Fish oil has been shown to help with triglyceride levels and many other things. I have written more about fish oils and their benefits in my e-book, The Caleb Journey.

Up next: B vitamins.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

Supplements: Are They Right for You?

It has been estimated that Americans spend $25–33 BILLION a year on supplements! Now that is a lot of supplementing. Multivitamins are very common and probably the most taken across various ages and cultures. I did a search on supplements and got over 15 million hits on Google.

So, are they really good for you? Don’t most of the supplements or vitamins just run right through us? How do you know what to take? These are very common questions people have and there are many different opinions and answers to these questions.

I want to be real clear. I take supplements. I do not have any great studies to support my use of supplements. I only have my years of experience as a family doctor and my own personal experiences with the use of supplements. I have done extensive reading and continue to improve my own knowledge on the subject. I am in no way an expert on supplements.

So, if you are still reading this, understand these are my opinions.

I am often asked about the absorptions of supplements and how your body uses them. I do believe some of the supplements are probably excreted from our bodies fairly rapidly. If you take a B vitamin, it does not take very long (15–30 minutes) before your urine becomes bright yellow. So why take them if they get out of your system so fast?

My first answer is to compare supplements to water. Water basically just goes right through our system. But I have to believe the water does some good along the way. I think supplements are much the same. They may go right through us, but I think they do some good along the way.

Secondly, I am sure not all the B vitamin ends up in my urine right away. I do think it will circulate through my body and be used if needed. It helps ensure the systems in my body that use the B vitamins have plenty of it.

Which supplements should you take? Again, a very common question. My answer is: it depends. It depends on what you are expecting or needing as far as supplements. It depends on your overall health status and your nutrition. It depends on your genetics. I do not think there is a one-size-fits-all. A growing athletic adolescent is going to have some different requirements than a guy in his sixties.

I do think the first thing to start with is to be sure you are doing the basic things well. Eating clean will help your overall wellness and health more than any supplement can. If you are not exercising regularly, get started. Try to get 7–8 hours of sleep and drink plenty of water.

My next blog will be about my personal favorite supplement.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

Supplements: To Take or Not to Take?

I have been helping people with their health issues for 30 years now and I believe I have learned a lot of things over those decades. I have learned we do not necessarily always know the truth. Medical opinions change with increased knowledge and better information.

I remember when we told everyone to quit eating eggs if you needed to lower your cholesterol. Well, now we have decided it is okay to eat some eggs in moderation. It used to be common practice to advise all women to take calcium. Now, not so much. Calcium probably will not hurt you, but it also probably does not help as much as we thought.

Medical advice and opinion tend to shift and change all of the time. There are some basic truths (at least, I think there are) that still make sense. For instance, if you have high blood pressure, you should do everything you can, including taking medication if necessary, to reduce your blood pressure to normal levels. This will dramatically lower your risk of heart attack and/or stroke. Getting regular sleep is really good for your overall energy and mood. Regular exercise will increase your energy and enhance your life. Still true!

Supplements are very popular today. I personally take them and I think they are helpful. However, recently I was listening to a popular wellness radio show and the host was taking lots of supplements. He was recommending all sorts of stuff to help with weight loss, memory, fatigue, energy, skin, bloating, and a multitude of other common ailments.

I tried to calculate how much it would cost to take everything he was recommending as a must-have. NO ONE could afford to spend that kind of money! It was over a thousand dollars a month.

Again, I am not against supplements. I take them myself. But I think some common sense should be used in deciding which supplements to take. Part of the problem of deciding what to take is filtering through all the noise around supplements.

Many mainstream doctors avoid recommending supplements altogether. We have been trained to look for documentation of efficacy through double-blind studies. It is really hard to find long-term, double-blind studies when it comes to supplements. I know there are a few good studies, but they are often biased in their design.

Over the next few weeks, I will blog about my thoughts and recommendations on supplements. I will not quote any studies. These recommendations will be based off of my personal experience and my own research of available information (which changes frequently).

I hope you will find this information practical and informative.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Dr. Curtis Brown

A Simple Key to Happiness

Read the first three in this series:

The Most Important Thing about Trying to Lose Weight
Understand Your Why
Brain Hack for Weight Loss

Isn’t it true we all just want to be happy? Are you happy right now? Do you have healthy relationships? Are you financially ok? How is your health? Are you growing spiritually? How is your family life?

How you answer these basic questions often determines your level of happiness. I want to slow down and have you think about some really basic things I believe can increase your level of happiness.

We all have a basic understanding or belief about how life should be. We all have a blueprint, if you will, on how to build our lives. At any given moment, your sense of happiness is determined by how well your current situation measures up to your blueprint for life. Think about it for a moment. Think of the different areas in your life: financial, health, relationships, family, and spiritual. How happy are you in each of these areas? Rate yourself on a scale of 1–10. How happy are you?

Chances are if you rate yourself fairly happy, your current situation aligns well with your ideas on how your life should be. For instance, if your financial goals are to have six months of living expenses set aside for an emergency fund and you have achieved that goal, you probably have some sense of contentment. I would imagine you have other financial goals as well, but I hope you are getting the point I am trying to make.

Now if you are not happy in some areas of your life, why not? Chances are that area of your life does not match up with your blueprint. Well, why not? Do you feel loved and respected by your spouse? Are you growing spiritually? Why or why not?

Our energies flow to our focus. If you want to be happy, focus on what is important to you, your blueprint for life. If you are struggling in a certain area, it is probably because you have not been focused on that area of your life. Maybe you are a dad who is working hard providing for your family, but you are neglecting your kids and things at home are not matching up to your blueprint. Focus on the family; balance the work-family continuum. I know it is not always as easy or simple as I have made it sound. But I do know it is true: your energy will flow to your focus.

If you are not happy in an area of your life, stop for about 15 minutes today and develop a plan to change your focus. Write your plan down on paper or on your smartphone, and review it daily. It will only take a few minutes. It helps to start the time with thinking about two or three things you have to be thankful for. Develop an attitude of gratitude. In a couple of weeks, take the time and reevaluate your situation. Focus and adapt!

Now the real key to a successful life is to have a lasting blueprint for life. Make sure your foundation of your blueprint is laid on the Cornerstone.

Wishing You an Amazing Life,

Curtis Brown MD